There has been so much criticism about Mountain Island Charter School recently and the perception that the school does nothing but take from the community. This is just not accurate. I want to address these complaints by reminding people of some of the things that MICS brings to Mount Holly and the surrounding community.

• MICS employs 70 full-time people within the city of Mount Holly. There are several more part-time positions at the school, and the school will be adding several more full-time positions during the next four years as they grow their high school.

• MICS brings an educational alternative to all of Gaston County, as well as surrounding counties. While it is true that not everyone can attend the school, the open positions at the school are filled by random lottery so that every child has a chance, not just children who live in a certain area. The children of MICS are excited to be there, and if you have a chance to visit the campus, you will see that.

• MICS brings business to the community, including after-school programs, the purchase of supplies, catered lunches, T-shirts, awards, facility and equipment rentals and other day-to-day purchases. The construction of its new facility will bring even more business to the area.

• MICS brings community spirit to the area with musicals, plays, sports, art exhibits, grandparent events and even an upcoming Bring Spring 5K run, which is open to everyone in the community.

To say that MICS only takes from the community is not true and not fair. MICS has worked very hard to become a valuable community partner by providing jobs, educational opportunities, local business and community spirit. In my opinion, Mountain Island Charter School has succeeded and become a valuable asset to the community.

– Wendy Sellers, MICS parent,

Charlotte

This short article responds to “Residents: Charlotte school location unsafe for school traffic” and comes from a parent volunteer at Mountain Island Charter School. As the mission statement of the school reflects, “MICS offers a traditional curriculum while instilling character values and leadership development within a positive, challenging learning environment. Students, teachers, staff and parents will be encouraged to lead by example through their positive impact on and service to each other, their school and their community. We endeavor to promote and foster excellence, wisdom, integrity and perseverance within our students to enable them to be successful in today’s complex and diverse society.”

Therefore, I take issue with the statement and characterization from the article that opined “others feel that because all public schools are exempt from taxes, Mount Holly won’t receive much of a financial or educational return from a school where only about 25 percent of students reside in Gaston County.”

Charter schools provide parents a choice in the education of their children, and this School of Distinction in its inaugural year proved that MICS, its staff, students and parent supporters have brought credit upon themselves, Mount Holly and Gaston County. Because of dogged determination and perseverance MICS is a success story and continues to achieve milestones in spite of the many tribulations it has endured. Since public tax dollars are the primary funding sources for charter schools, local, state and federal dollars follow the child to a charter school. So if one does the math, it is very apparent that a financial and education return most certainly is enjoyed by Mount Holly and Gaston County from the surrounding counties and from all those who have moved to the area directly as a result of having this opportunity.

As Andre Gide voices, “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Therefore, The elected officials, who so publicly hailed MICS in its inaugural year, might be well served to express to the aggrieved neighborhoods that there is a process that Mount Holly/Gaston Planning Commission dictates. MICS has diligently toiled to adhere to the process. Therefore, perhaps rather than enabling disparaging remarks, Mount Holly could take action to explain the process to all parties openly. I would also remind that the end goal is edification and development of children, our most precious gifts and future.

– Kevin Holland, MICS parent,

Charlotte

A few years ago, after having a bad day, I walked into Books-A-Million at Concord Mills Mall and asked the clerk, “Do you have the book “Don’t Let the Jerks Get the Best Of You” by Paul Meier?” He found their last copy.

In this book, Meier, a psychologist, says all of us are jerks, and all of us are affected by jerks. He defines jerks on three levels.

• First-level jerks: They do not willfully hurt others, but they do. They feel guilt for what they have done.

• Second-level jerks: They willfully hurt others. They will feel guilt, although it may take a few years for guilt to register.

• Third-level jerks: They willfully hurt others and feel no guilt.

Meier goes on to explain that he acted like a second level jerk when he threw a cup of soda out of his driver side window into an open convertible Volkswagen Bug. His reason, it was moving to slow on the highway.

It took his wife a few days to convince him that what he did was willful and very un-Christian. Meier goes on to say that a classic sign of a second-level or third-level jerk is the inability to ever admit that another point-of-view might have some merit. Second- and third-level jerks often lose friends, but they seldom lose arguments Their defenses are just too strong.

A definition of forgiveness that I heard from psychologist Archibald Hart has helped me deal with those who have hurt me. He defines the word as “forfeiting my right to hurt you for hurting me.” I had always thought that forgiving is forgetting, but quickly realized that it’s not.

When we forget, we put ourselves and the people we love in harm’s way. There is a verse of scripture that says, “Don’t cast your pearls before swine, they will trample them under foot, turn and charge against you.” Rather than forget, I’ve used Hart’s definition of forgiveness. The street version of that is “I give up my right to rearrange your face for hurting me.”

If forgiving is not forgetting, what do I do with the relationship with the person who has offended me? Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. While God calls me to give up my right to hurt someone for hurting me – forgiveness – I may not always be able to reconcile with the offender. To reconcile, the other person needs to say to me, “I’m sorry; I was wrong.” Without hearing that, I will forgive them, but we may not have reconciliation.

What do you do with those who don’t seek to reconcile their relationship with you? Pray for them. Matthew 5:44 says, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Other translations say, “Pray for those which spitefully use you or hate, insult or curse you.” I have learned to ask God to bless them.

I’ll be back next month. Until then, live well my friend.

Rev. Tony Marciano is the executive director of the Charlotte Rescue Mission, which provides a free long-term Christian recovery program for me and women who are addicted to drugs and alcohol.

I believe life resembles a roller coaster ride – you’re going uphill, enjoying the upward climb and its wonderful, exhilarating experience. Then, suddenly, it all changes.

You’re going down the hill, and life couldn’t get any worse than this. You hold onto the hope that it will get better, and depending on the design of the roller coaster, you can go down–very far down–until you hit the bottom. Life is over, and it’s the end of the world. Then, the coaster starts to climb back up and you finally see light at the end of your tunnel.

Marriage can be a lot like a roller coaster, with its ups and its downs. Wes Roberts and H. Norman Wright, in their premarital workbook, “Before You Say I Do,” look at the three stages of marriage. I compare those three stages to a roller coaster.

Roberts and Wright provide some words and ideas to go along with these stages. They refer to stage one, the upward climb of the roller coaster, as “enchantment.” Words and phrases that describe enchantment include on cloud nine, perfect, just right, forever, infatuated, idolize, numb, fascinated, charmed, captivated, ecstasy, thrilled and preoccupied.

In a couple’s mind, there is no peak to this roller coaster. They think “Our love, our marriage is going to be different.” Just as every roller coaster has its peak, the enchantment stage also has its high point.

Then they enter stage two, or “disenchantment.” Some words or phrases used to describe it include upset, terrible, absolutely wrong, “I quit,” hurt, put down, splintered, irritated, wretched, burdened, uncomfortable, bitter, trapped and “we’ll never make it.” Often, when a couple arrives at this stage, divorce seems to be the only way out.

Stage two is significant because even if a couple doesn’t divorce, they can stay hurdling toward the bottom, wallowing in self pity and feeling trapped with nowhere to go. How many marriages don’t achieve real intimacy, but operate more like a business, with the two partners simply enduring each other rather than truly experiencing love?

During stage three, the roller coaster climbs up the next hill. This time, the climb isn’t driven by hormones or feelings, but rather, acceptance. You don’t focus on your spouse’s shortcomings,  nor do you deny them. Instead, you focus on your spouse’s strengths. Words and phrases used to describe stage three include feet on the ground, “I need you,” “let’s work it out,” “I’ll help you,” encourage, whole, refreshed, thankful, free, comfortable, friendly and together.

I believe that all couples go through these cycles. It’s easy for a marriage to get stuck in stage two, with both parties feeling that the other doesn’t make them happy. Divorce appears to be the only option that allows both spouses to find joy and happiness. Other couples live out the rest of their lives enduring each other’s presence. But it’s the couple who works through the struggles, the challenges and the pain of stage two who eventually move onto stage three where they enjoy the “bliss” and the “ecstasy” of marriage.

I’ll be back next month. Until then, live well my friend.

The Rev. Tony Marciano is the executive director of the Charlotte Rescue Mission. The Charlotte Rescue Mission provides a free long-term Christian recovery program for men and women who are addicted to drugs and alcohol.

Last spring my wife and I boarded a tour bus to visit Brookgreen Gardens near Myrtle Beach. It’s a beautiful spot, and I encourage readers to visit it the next time you travel to the area. Just as we arrived, my wife’s flip-flop broke, rendering the shoe useless. Since we arrived on a bus instead of taking our own car, we couldn’t leave the garden and buy another one. The gift shop didn’t sell flip-flops and we were going to be there for three hours. We would be stuck sitting on a bench because of the broken footwear.

Desperate, we hobbled over to the welcome center to explain our problem to the greeter. After listening to our story, the woman took off her flip-flops and loaned them to my wife. She just asked us to return them to her before we boarded the bus.

We were shocked, surprised, flabbergasted and overwhelmed by this woman’s generosity. My wife and I had a great time during the next few hours, enjoying the park and admiring the statues. We went back to the welcome center to return the flip-flops and thank “our angel” for making a memorable experience for my wife and me.

I share this story as a reminder about how we see life; the attitude that we bring will determine our altitude. If we think we are beaten, we are. If we believe that there is hope, we will see the hand of God moving before us in ways we can’t explain. Let me tell you another story.

Last April, I marked “Executive Assistant Day” on my calendar. I wanted to be sure I remembered that day for my new executive assistant. But as my life continued, I got busy and totally forgot the day.

Normally, I workout at the Dowd YMCA before work. For some reason, I went to the gym during lunch and ran into a friend I don’t often see in my locker row. We normally exchange polite pleasantries and talk about the Charlotte Rescue Mission. That day, however, he didn’t bring up the Mission. Instead, he looked at me and asked, “Do you know what day today is?” to which I replied, “No.” “It’s Executive Assistant Day,” he replied. I gasped as I realized I almost missed that important day for my assistant. Fortunately, I had the time to pick up a card. Why would someone randomly bring up that it was Executive Assistant Day?

There is a scripture verse that says, “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” I’ve learned that there are no coincidences in life; there are holy coincidences. Yet, in both of the above-mentioned stories, I had a choice. I could shrug it off as just something that happened and move on to the next appointment on my calendar. But instead, I’m still learning that because of God’s incredible love for you and me, He is constantly pursuing a relationship with us. Sometimes he makes Himself aware to us through holy coincidences. We just have to look with eyes that are willing to see the hand of God moving in front of us.

When you put down this newspaper, clean your eyeglasses. But don’t look at life with your eyes; rather see with your heart.

I’ll be back next month. Until then, live well my friend.

Rev. Tony Marciano is the Executive Director of the Charlotte Rescue Mission. The Charlotte Rescue Mission provides a free long-term Christian recovery program for men and women who are addicted to drugs and alcohol.

This past April Catherine Elizabeth “Kate” Middleton married Prince William of Wales. In 1987 her parents, Michael and Carole Middleton, founded Party Pieces, a mail order company that sells party supplies and decorations. They have since become millionaires.

Let me change the story around. What if Kate did not have parents who are millionaires? What if she were a pauper, a peasant girl? What if Prince William had just happened to come upon her and fell madly in love, in spite of her poverty? How would he have captured the heart of a peasant girl?

Brent Hodges and John Eldridge, in their book “The Sacred Romance” (its not a love story between a man and a woman but between God as us), tell a figurative story of a king, centuries ago, who dealt with the same challenge. Permit me to modify their tale. The king, riding alone in the forest, came across a poor peasant girl living in a thatched roof hut. She was beautiful, yet simple. She was charming and yet humble. The king only stopped by her simple home for a drink of water, yet in those brief moments she stole his heart.

As he rode off from this encounter, he had found true love. No other woman in his kingdom had stolen his heart the way she had. What would he do? How would he win her over?

He assembled his wisest counselors and sought their wisdom.

The first advisor suggested he send his royal ambassador to the peasant girl to tell her that the king would like her hand in marriage. “But what if she would say ‘no,’” the king asked. What if she declined his marriage proposal? What if she said that she was totally unworthy–a woman of no means marrying the king of this great kingdom.

The king continued to struggle when a second advisor came up with a plan. He suggested that the king send a military force of 100 soldiers. In addition, he would send me with banners and others with trumpets. They would arrive at her simple hut with much fanfare. The king would dismount his stallion, knock on her door and ask for her hand in marriage. “But what if she were frightened from all the attention?” thought the king. What if she stayed inside her home and chose not to come out?

The king found himself deeply troubled. What could he do to win the hand of this woman who had stolen his heart? Finally, a third advisor came up with a solution. He explained to the king that he would have to become just like the woman – a pauper. He would have to lay aside his kingship and dress just like her – a peasant. He would arrive at her home as a simple man, not as a king. Then, and only then, would he know that she would respond to the purity of his love for her and not to his position of king.

That story is symbolic of the Christmas story; how would God win our hearts? He would have to become just like us, to be born as we are born, to live and work as we live and work, to become one of us, laying aside his divinity so we could respond to the purity of his love.

This Christmas, I invite you to enter into a relationship with the one we call the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the one who laid aside his divinity to become one of us.

I’ll be back next month. Until then, live well my friend.

Rev. Tony Marciano is the executive director of the Charlotte Rescue Mission, which provides a free, long-term Christian recovery program for men and women who are addicted to drugs and alcohol.

store location

Editor,

The debate over the ABC store currently under construction provides me with an opportunity to express some opinions on local issues I’ve been meaning to write for some time.

My wife and I have lived in Northwoods since 1990 – back in the pre-Bi-Lo, pre-Walmart, pre-just-about-everything–days, except Cook’s church, Cook’s fire station and the convenience store at Bellhaven Boulevard and Mount Holly-Huntersville Road. In other words, no strip malls or major retail outlets. However, there was a sign hinting at things to come at the southeast corner of N.C. 16 and Mount Holly-Huntersville Road, which proclaimed that a Food Lion and other stores would come to that corner. Well, ironically, 21 years later, that corner of this busy intersection is the only corner that is still vacant, awaiting development.

This suggests a solution to the ABC store debate: that it be built on the southeast corner of Mount Holly-Huntersville Road and N.C. 16. At the same time, with this area lacking many major retailers of various stripes that one has to drive a great distance to patronize – Walgreens, ALDI, Starbucks, Burger King, to name a few – they could be built there as well. It puzzles me why this prime piece of commercial property continues to go undeveloped when it could provide our area with retailers missing from this area.

Finally, a “big picture” question more appropriate for the General Assembly than local zoning boards, and that is why do we need government-owned ABC stores to begin with? What makes liquor so peculiar that it can only be run by a state-run monopoly in North Carolina (and many other states as well)? Why not allow it to be sold by general retailers the way it’s sold 25 miles to the south, which would eliminate the need for ABC stores? Like I said, that’s too big of an issue for a neighborhood, but one worth considering nonetheless.

– Stephen V. Gilmore

Northwood neighborhood

Girl Scouts need your help

Editor,

I am writing to raise awareness about a challenge we are celebrating at your local Girl Scout Council. Due to a tremendous response from girls in kindergarten through the 12th-grade, we have outpaced our current volunteer base and have 1,000 girls without a designated leader on a wait list. Our local council serves more than 15,000 girls in eight counties in North and South Carolina through our leadership development programs in community building and outreach, environment leadership, STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) and healthy living.

Adult volunteers are imperative for our organization to continue the quality of programming being offered to young women today. Understanding time constraints of work and family commitments, acting as a troop leader or adult volunteer is more flexible than ever. Don’t let more than 1,000 girls who are eager to experience Girl Scouting miss out on the opportunity when we have talented leaders in our communities.

We have opportunities throughout our eight-county footprint, but there are specific needs in Mecklenburg and Union Counties. Please join us as we celebrate the 100th anniversary of Girl Scouts and help continue our mission of building girls of courage, confidence and character who make the world a better place. To learn how you can help, please contact us at  marketing@hngirlscouts.org or 704-731-6500.

– Katherine L. Lambert, Executive Vice President Girl Scout’s, Hornets Nest Council, Charlotte

Last January, the Board decided to get together and have some fellowship with one another. I got there early and was the first to greet the president.  As time progressed, all but one board member arrived.

While we were waiting for him to arrive, one board member started an interesting discussion. She had a very strong opinion about the November 2010 election and the change in Raleigh from a Democrat to a Republican majority.  She went on and on talking about “those people.”  Actually, she went on and on and on and on. She spoke about the other political party and its ideology.  As she talked, the entire group agreed with her and was united with her in her political views. I was of the other political party.  Finally, after 10 minutes, the President elbowed her and said, “He’s one of “those” people.”

There was an incredibly awkward silence in the room.  Everyone realized she had been talking about me.  She looked at me and said, “How can you be one of ‘those’ people?”  It was as if I was the enemy.  She didn’t ask me to defend my political views.  We had been friends for too long. Rather, we talked and laughed.  I had known her for years and had a great respect for her community service.  As a public servant, she worked tirelessly to better our community.  But because we were of different political parties, we saw the path of bettering our community differently.

What’s interesting is that for 10 years, she thought we were of the same political party and we got along very well.  That day, she realized we were of different political parties and we still get along very well.  We laughed over dinner, acknowledging our differences while reaffirming our commitment to each other and our community.

A few days ago, we had the privilege of participating in this experiment of self government by the people.  I love the fact that we’re different.  If both of us always agreed, one of us isn’t necessary (think about that).  In addition to our political arena, there are great associations and organizations in our community.  Their members don’t always agree.  When they discuss issues and hear each other’s wisdom, great outcomes are often the results.  Had one of the members been adamant about their position and forced the results they wanted, the group could have missed a great opportunity.

Differences aren’t bad – whether it’s in politics, work, friendships or even marriage.  What’s bad is when the differences cause us to attack the other person rather than define the problem.  Then we’re more interested in winning rather than doing what is best for our country, our workplace, our friendships and yes, even our marriage. Let me encourage you to have great political discussions.  Keep your passion about your political view points.  But don’t use the phrase, “you’re wrong.”  Rather say, “I respect your opinion, I disagree with you, here’s why.”

I’ll be back next month.  Until then, live well my friend.

Rev. Tony Marciano is the Executive Director of the Charlotte Rescue Mission.  The Charlotte Rescue Mission provides a free long-term Christian recovery program for men and women who are addicted to drugs and alcohol.

I would wake up around noon to see the sports section spread out on the breakfast table, with my dad and brother analyzing every word written about the previous night’s high school football game. If my brother had a particularly good game and ended up on the section’s cover, my dad would make multiple trips to the paper box to secure several extra copies for family and friends.

Meanwhile, any copies of larger newspapers would be pushed to the wayside for most of the weekend. Who has time to read about the latest political scandal in Washington or celebrity gossip when you have news about your small town’s biggest social event right at your fingertips?

In the journalism school at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, I often thought back to this experience. While concerned friends and family bombarded me with news that another strong newspaper had folded or laid off most of its newsroom, I couldn’t help but remember that Saturday morning rush to the newspaper box.

If the entire journalism industry is dying, how do these smaller newspapers – minuscule in comparison to media giants such as The New York Times or CNN – even stay afloat? The key to that question lies in the word “community.”

Charlotte is a big city, and it can be frustrating to hear your neighborhood, whether its Coulwood, Mount Holly or Shuffletown, become indistinguishable from the rest of the Queen City. While the Mountain Island community is certainly proud to be a part of the Charlotte area, it is also a place with its own history, people and camaraderie.

As the new editor of the Mountain Island Monitor, I hope that I can capture a snapshot of this community’s unique flavor and day-to-day life each month. While you may tune in to MSNBC or Fox or read The Charlotte Observer to find out what’s going on across the nation and region, it’s my goal that you turn to us to read about the new principal at your child’s school, a neighbor courageously fighting cancer or a local serviceman returning from a tour in Afghanistan. We want to offer you what we feel no one else can – a detailed, honest look into the place that matters most, your home.

To achieve this goal, I need your help. Perhaps you see an important issue in your neighborhood that needs attention, yet no one seems to listen to your concerns. Maybe you know a neighbor who is struggling with a challenge and could use a little encouragement from his or her community. Or maybe you just want to help recognize a high school teacher who has gone above and beyond expectations in helping to prepare your children for the future.

Whatever the case may be, do not hesitate to pick up the phone and let me know. While I will work my hardest to be your one-stop source for all things Mountain Island, I will need some guidance from you – the readers – to figure out what you want to see inside our pages.

Together, we will work to celebrate Mountain Island life and all it has to offer.

To contact Hamby, call 704-766-2100 or send an email to editor@mimonitor.com

That’s why I was so happy to learn the Lazy 5 ranch in Mooresville has camels! That is where I taught my grandson learned his first Urdu word, “unt,” which means “camel.” Unt is also the typical sound a camel makes.  I like the word “unt” much better than the Arabic word, “jamel.”  Playing on Arabic words, whenever I saw a camel in Saudi Arabia, which was practically a daily occurrence, I’d point it out saying “jamel jamelia” – one of the many Arabic words for beautiful.

One of my most unusual and unforgettable camel experiences took place in Pakistan.  A friend and I were taking a car trip to an area called Uiche Sharif, which was just on the edge of the Thar Desert.

At one of the villages we came across on the way to Uiche Sharif we noticed a large crowd gathering and pointing toward the center. We stopped to check it out.

We were dressed in the traditional garb of Pakistani women — shalwar kameez and dupatta.  The shalwar kameez is a loose garment which has a long shirt that comes down nearly to the knees with loose pants worn underneath.  The dupatta is a flowing head scarf that covers the head and drapes modestly down over the front of the body.  Although we were dressed in local attire we couldn’t conceal our Western complexions and hair.

As we walked through the crowd it was like parting the Red Sea as the throngs split before us. Inside the raucous mass were two men, stripped to their briefs and competing in the sport of “bugti,” a form of wrestling.

The only thing more interesting to the crowd was us – two obviously Western women in traditional dress standing and watching the match with the rest of the men. After a few minutes the wrestlers realized the shouts had stopped and they turned to look at us as well.

As we stood dumbfounded, unsure of what to do, a thin voice wafted through the crowd. An old man was singing a native song while poised atop his camel. He wore the traditional clothes of the village elders and his face showed his age as he had more wrinkles than a shar-pei. As his voice got louder and the song seemed to burst from him the crowd turned away from us. As his voice grew even stronger, his camel also caught wind and began to stamp its feet in tune with the music.

The camel was just as colorful as his owner, with a brightly embroidered blanket across its back, a bridle with small bells attached and silver bangles on each of its legs.

The grand finale of the performance came when the camel rose up on its two hind legs and danced while the elder finished the song. This was the first time I’d ever seen such a spectacle and I was honored to see it play out before me.

The end of the song was a silent cue for the activities to recommence.  The wrestlers started wrestling again, the crowd resumed its revelry and the village elder nodded to us with a small shake of his hat.  My friend and I thanked him profusely for the rare and unique opportunity to see not only the amazing bond between a man and his camel but also for letting us hear the rare sounds of the jingle of the bangles as the camel danced.

I took that memory with me to the Lazy 5 ranch. The large animal initially intimidated my grandson but he was reassured when he saw granny snuggling up and petting it like a tame pony. He overcame his fear fully when his dad reached out to pet the camel, drawing out the Urdu “uuuunnnnt” with a smile on his face. Even now, months later, when he sees a picture of a camel he’ll point and say “unt.”

Carol Fleming, who served as a U.S. diplomat to the Middle East, lives in Huntersville with her two cats, and you can read more of her thoughts at www.american
bedu.com. She can be reached at admin@americanbedu.com.